Ana ya tair!

Hans Christian Andersen!

Another post, this time about Hans Christian Andersen. He is one of the most wonderful author of all time. I won't call him a children books author because I still enjoy his work as much as I did 12 years ago, and I can't call myself a child anymore! A lot of people around the world remember him from their childhood, remember his fairy tales like "The Ugly Duckling", "The Snow Queen", "The Emperor's New Suit", "The Little Mermaid" and much much more!

For me, I always remember the old cartoons I used to watch early in the morning, those mesmerizing pictures and capturing sounds... My father used to ask me why I am watching these stuff every morning when they are just moving pictures. I used to answer with all confidence and a big smile on my face, "Because it's art!"

Those were my first encounters with art in it's most fascinating forms! The combination of literature, painting and music to form a unique kind of magic that can definitely change the life and future of a child! Because this is the kind of things I watched as a kid, I grew up with a taste for beauty, I feel it in most things I see! Till now, I still enjoy watching cartoons, reading manga and watching some wonderful anime "I am a proud Death Note/Hellsing addict"!

Never forbid your children the opportunity to enjoy art in all its forms, or else you'll end up being empty-headed, dead-hearted grown ups who only think of the world as an empty shell, and don't forget to always step back to the little things you used to love as a child, because they can be the only things you truly have. It's a tough world out there, and you never know, maybe those little wise words from a cartoon could save you!





The Red Shoes "My favorite"


ONCE upon a time there was little girl, pretty and dainty. But in summer time she was obliged to go barefooted because she was poor, and in winter she had to wear large wooden shoes, so that her little instep grew quite red.

In the middle of the village lived an old shoemaker’s wife; she sat down and made, as well as she could, a pair of little shoes out of some old pieces of red cloth. They were clumsy, but she meant well, for they were intended for the little girl, whose name was Karen.

Karen received the shoes and wore them for the first time on the day of her mother’s funeral. They were certainly not suitable for mourning; but she had no others, and so she put her bare feet into them and walked behind the humble coffin.

Just then a large old carriage came by, and in it sat an old lady; she looked at the little girl, and taking pity on her, said to the clergyman, “Look here, if you will give me the little girl, I will take care of her.”

Karen believed that this was all on account of the red shoes, but the old lady thought them hideous, and so they were burnt. Karen herself was dressed very neatly and cleanly; she was taught to read and to sew, and people said that she was pretty. But the mirror told her, “You are more than pretty—you are beautiful.”

One day the Queen was travelling through that part of the country, and had her little daughter, who was a princess, with her. All the people, amongst them Karen too, streamed towards the castle, where the little princess, in fine white clothes, stood before the window and allowed herself to be stared at. She wore neither a train nor a golden crown, but beautiful red morocco shoes; they were indeed much finer than those which the shoemaker’s wife had sewn for little Karen. There is really nothing in the world that can be compared to red shoes!

Karen was now old enough to be confirmed; she received some new clothes, and she was also to have some new shoes. The rich shoemaker in the town took the measure of her little foot in his own room, in which there stood great glass cases full of pretty shoes and white slippers. It all looked very lovely, but the old lady could not see very well, and therefore did not get much pleasure out of it. Amongst the shoes stood a pair of red ones, like those which the princess had worn. How beautiful they were! and the shoemaker said that they had been made for a count’s daughter, but that they had not fitted her.

“I suppose they are of shiny leather?” asked the old lady. “They shine so.”

“Yes, they do shine,” said Karen. They fitted her, and were bought. But the old lady knew nothing of their being red, for she would never have allowed Karen to be confirmed in red shoes, as she was now to be.

Everybody looked at her feet, and the whole of the way from the church door to the choir it seemed to her as if even the ancient figures on the monuments, in their stiff collars and long black robes, had their eyes fixed on her red shoes. It was only of these that she thought when the clergyman laid his hand upon her head and spoke of the holy baptism, of the covenant with God, and told her that she was now to be a grown-up Christian. The organ pealed forth solemnly, and the sweet children’s voices mingled with that of their old leader; but Karen thought only of her red shoes. In the afternoon the old lady heard from everybody that Karen had worn red shoes. She said that it was a shocking thing to do, that it was very improper, and that Karen was always to go to church in future in black shoes, even if they were old.

On the following Sunday there was Communion. Karen looked first at the black shoes, then at the red ones—looked at the red ones again, and put them on.

The sun was shining gloriously, so Karen and the old lady went along the footpath through the corn, where it was rather dusty.

At the church door stood an old crippled soldier leaning on a crutch; he had a wonderfully long beard, more red than white, and he bowed down to the ground and asked the old lady whether he might wipe her shoes. Then Karen put out her little foot too. “Dear me, what pretty dancing-shoes!” said the soldier. “Sit fast, when you dance,” said he, addressing the shoes, and slapping the soles with his hand.

The old lady gave the soldier some money and then went with Karen into the church.

And all the people inside looked at Karen’s red shoes, and all the figures gazed at them; when Karen knelt before the altar and put the golden goblet to her mouth, she thought only of the red shoes. It seemed to her as though they were swimming about in the goblet, and she forgot to sing the psalm, forgot to say the “Lord’s Prayer.”

Now every one came out of church, and the old lady stepped into her carriage. But just as Karen was lifting up her foot to get in too, the old soldier said: “Dear me, what pretty dancing shoes!” and Karen could not help it, she was obliged to dance a few steps; and when she had once begun, her legs continued to dance. It seemed as if the shoes had got power over them. She danced round the church corner, for she could not stop; the coachman had to run after her and seize her. He lifted her into the carriage, but her feet continued to dance, so that she kicked the good old lady violently. At last they took off her shoes, and her legs were at rest.

At home the shoes were put into the cupboard, but Karen could not help looking at them.

Now the old lady fell ill, and it was said that she would not rise from her bed again. She had to be nursed and waited upon, and this was no one’s duty more than Karen’s. But there was a grand ball in the town, and Karen was invited. She looked at the red shoes, saying to herself that there was no sin in doing that; she put the red shoes on, thinking there was no harm in that either; and then she went to the ball; and commenced to dance.

But when she wanted to go to the right, the shoes danced to the left, and when she wanted to dance up the room, the shoes danced down the room, down the stairs through the street, and out through the gates of the town. She danced, and was obliged to dance, far out into the dark wood. Suddenly something shone up among the trees, and she believed it was the moon, for it was a face. But it was the old soldier with the red beard; he sat there nodding his head and said: “Dear me, what pretty dancing shoes!”

She was frightened, and wanted to throw the red shoes away; but they stuck fast. She tore off her stockings, but the shoes had grown fast to her feet. She danced and was obliged to go on dancing over field and meadow, in rain and sunshine, by night and by day—but by night it was most horrible.

She danced out into the open churchyard; but the dead there did not dance. They had something better to do than that. She wanted to sit down on the pauper’s grave where the bitter fern grows; but for her there was neither peace nor rest. And as she danced past the open church door she saw an angel there in long white robes, with wings reaching from his shoulders down to the earth; his face was stern and grave, and in his hand he held a broad shining sword.

“Dance you shall,” said he, “dance in your red shoes till you are pale and cold, till your skin shrivels up and you are a skeleton! Dance you shall, from door to door, and where proud and wicked children live you shall knock, so that they may hear you and fear you! Dance you shall, dance—!”

“Mercy!” cried Karen. But she did not hear what the angel answered, for the shoes carried her through the gate into the fields, along highways and byways, and unceasingly she had to dance.

One morning she danced past a door that she knew well; they were singing a psalm inside, and a coffin was being carried out covered with flowers. Then she knew that she was forsaken by every one and damned by the angel of God.

She danced, and was obliged to go on dancing through the dark night. The shoes bore her away over thorns and stumps till she was all torn and bleeding; she danced away over the heath to a lonely little house. Here, she knew, lived the executioner; and she tapped with her finger at the window and said:

“Come out, come out! I cannot come in, for I must dance.”

And the executioner said: “I don’t suppose you know who I am. I strike off the heads of the wicked, and I notice that my axe is tingling to do so.”

“Don’t cut off my head!” said Karen, “for then I could not repent of my sin. But cut off my feet with the red shoes.”

And then she confessed all her sin, and the executioner struck off her feet with the red shoes; but the shoes danced away with the little feet across the field into the deep forest.

And he carved her a pair of wooden feet and some crutches, and taught her a psalm which is always sung by sinners; she kissed the hand that guided the axe, and went away over the heath.

“Now, I have suffered enough for the red shoes,” she said; “I will go to church, so that people can see me.” And she went quickly up to the church-door; but when she came there, the red shoes were dancing before her, and she was frightened, and turned back.

During the whole week she was sad and wept many bitter tears, but when Sunday came again she said: “Now I have suffered and striven enough. I believe I am quite as good as many of those who sit in church and give themselves airs.” And so she went boldly on; but she had not got farther than the churchyard gate when she saw the red shoes dancing along before her. Then she became terrified, and turned back and repented right heartily of her sin.

She went to the parsonage, and begged that she might be taken into service there. She would be industrious, she said, and do everything that she could; she did not mind about the wages as long as she had a roof over her, and was with good people. The pastor’s wife had pity on her, and took her into service. And she was industrious and thoughtful. She sat quiet and listened when the pastor read aloud from the Bible in the evening. All the children liked her very much, but when they spoke about dress and grandeur and beauty she would shake her head.

On the following Sunday they all went to church, and she was asked whether she wished to go too; but, with tears in her eyes, she looked sadly at her crutches. And then the others went to hear God’s Word, but she went alone into her little room; this was only large enough to hold the bed and a chair. Here she sat down with her hymn-book, and as she was reading it with a pious mind, the wind carried the notes of the organ over to her from the church, and in tears she lifted up her face and said: “O God! help me!”

Then the sun shone so brightly, and right before her stood an angel of God in white robes; it was the same one whom she had seen that night at the church-door. He no longer carried the sharp sword, but a beautiful green branch, full of roses; with this he touched the ceiling, which rose up very high, and where he had touched it there shone a golden star. He touched the walls, which opened wide apart, and she saw the organ which was pealing forth; she saw the pictures of the old pastors and their wives, and the congregation sitting in the polished chairs and singing from their hymn-books. The church itself had come to the poor girl in her narrow room, or the room had gone to the church. She sat in the pew with the rest of the pastor’s household, and when they had finished the hymn and looked up, they nodded and said, “It was right of you to come, Karen.”

“It was mercy,” said she.

The organ played and the children’s voices in the choir sounded soft and lovely. The bright warm sunshine streamed through the window into the pew where Karen sat, and her heart became so filled with it, so filled with peace and joy, that it broke. Her soul flew on the sunbeams to Heaven, and no one was there who asked after the Red Shoes.

P.S The lines in bold are my favorite.

Shocking!!

I was watching the news less than an hour ago, there was a report about the general conditions of children living in Iraq. It's nothing new, I know, we all are familiar with how bad the current situation is, and we all saw pictures and reports about this specific issue. But still, it doesn't fail to astonish me every single time I watch or hear about it. It is nothing to be described less than a disaster!!!

Imagine that the mortality rates of children till the age of 5 is 10%. It means that of every 100 child, 10 will die from various reasons including diarrhea and recently cholera!!!! If this number doesn't strike you, don't keep reading!

This puts Iraq who was one of the top ranking countries in health facilities in the lowest ranks of health care! It is now officially the worst in the region, and one of the worst in developing countries of the world!!!!

I was trying to write down some more numbers and talk about other conditions like education and so on, but I think there is nothing more important than a child's health! After all, if he's dead, what good does it do him if they provide him with a desk at school???!!!!

Coming to the next point, like all of you, I felt helpless, there is nothing we can do to solve this problem! But I have a part of a solution!

This is a copy from a project plan made by a friend of mine in Iraq, Ausama Idrees, who is a medical student, an activist and an Oxfam Australia action partner :

I'm starting a project here in the city where I currently live, this project is about helping the Orphans through supplying the only two Orphanages with essential materials that they desperately need.

Through this project we – me and a team of other students- will try to achieve the following:

1- Buying the orphanages heaters and carpets, and this should be done as fast as we can since winter is on the doors and they don't have any heating.

2-The project also will cover the renovation of an existing room to be used as an entertainment room for the children.

3- Provide the orphanages with some educational books, stories and toys and also change the environment in those houses into a healthier and happier one.

Any donation by you will directly help more than 60 orphans living in those two orphanages and will be a gate into other projects that tends to help the Iraqi orphans in the near future.

The Project will start as soon as we complete the fund raising stage. And it will be monitored and supervised by qualified people and by Oxfam Australia as well.

We will make mid and final evaluation for the project and will follow up with it and monitor the needs after that.

We will also do our best to publish the final result of the project on the internet so that you can follow up with what your donations have made.

You can donate online here.

And you can also donate directly through Money Gram.

Donation can be also transferred to one of the local NGOs if it's necessary.

Help those children, help us improve their situation.



Back to me, please consider donation, or share any other ideas! Those children need your help, just imagine that the one dollar you donate can help save a child's life!!!

If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate, I am ready to answer all of them, and if you want to contact the project organizer, this is his e-mail address "Neo1073@yahoo.com"

We need your donations, but we also need your prayers so don't forget the children of Iraq!

That place called home, back to Iraq!!!

A few days ago, I celebrated my 20th birthday. It didn't feel the way others make it sound like, I don't feel like an adult all of a sudden nor do I feel young with a life waiting in front of me and accomplishments to achieve. It doesn't feel at all. Maybe it's because age stopped meaning anything to me. The number of "old" individuals who make no sense at all nor act their "age" makes me never count it in when I am measuring a person!!

The winter is here, it's cold in the morning and windy but still no rain. I am waiting for the rain. Somehow it feels cleansing, maybe if I stand in it for a while I'd feel better, maybe more pure "spiritually speaking of course, standing in the rain in Cairo means nothing less than a laundry disaster"!

A week from now, my family is going back to Iraq. By family I mean my uncle, his wife and children, my aunt and my cousin. I am not very comfortable saying that I don't want them to leave. Coming to think about it, as an Iraqi who loves her country, if all those who left didn't come back, who is to rebuild it again. Where are we going to find the genius minds and the hard workers who will revive it again, make it more or less the Iraq we all miss with the clean streets and the beautiful houses and buildings?!
That was me thinking objectively, trying to justify it one way or another.

On the other hand, my aunt and cousin have been living with us for the last year becoming a vital part in our small family which won't feel any easier to be separated than if it was one of us, the original members leaving. Leaving the emotions aside, and the way we adore this little girl, is it really safe to go back??!

I keep asking myself this question without finding a satisfying answer. Can we say that walking in the streets of Baghdad or anywhere else in Iraq now is as safe as walking in the streets of Cairo??
How safe is it really?!

Leaving the safety aside, as it is very relative and differs from one place to another, If you go back, what kind of life is waiting for you there?! Can people re cope with the kind of life there again? How would it feel to be back to electricity for a few hours everyday? Not having hot water in the freezing nights of winter? Not finding proper medical treatment if your kid gets sick in the middle of the night?! And the list goes on and on!

Do you risk a comfortable, safe life in a country other than yours to go back to a place that doesn't even look the way you remember it because you miss it? miss your friends? miss your life there? Are you sure it would be remotely close to what you imagine???!

It is a bit over a year since my uncle died in a car explosion in Baghdad, leaving a little girl of a year and a half without a mother nor a father. We managed to get her here, she was admitted to one of the best schools in Egypt, even better than the one I myself went to! She goes out and plays, has friends and people who adore her. I can take her to the mall with my friends to spend a day while she is running all over the place playing and pretending to hold a camera and shooting us with it! Is my uncle going to be happy knowing that his child was forbidden of something this good, of basically a some how granted future, to go back to that unknown place called home, just because it is home?!!!!!

I am confused.

Paris, je t'aime!!

Fairouz!!

Imagine!!

Share what you imagine, maybe I can add it to the collage!

Scenes!!

Scene One:

Time: Around 7:20 AM.
Place: Near home, on my way to the subway going to college, a window that's low enough to allow you to see things inside if it's open.

Behind the window there is a man in his late forties I think. For the last 3 years, in the early morning, some days of the week, this window is open. The man sits by the window looking for some light to help him paint. Every day I saw him as I passed next to the window he was working on a new painting. Some days it was a portrait, some days a landscape scene from a card or a picture he stuck to the corner of the frame. Every time I crossed the open window, I peeked at his painting, they were not that good, more usual if you know what I mean. He never noticed me, or I think so... A few days ago, I was passing next to the same window, it was open, he was there painting but this time he looked up at me. He smiled... That innocent smile you don't see a lot from old people "and by old I mean someone who is not a very young child". I smiled back at him and felt a bit light.
Walking away, I made a promise to myself that next time I see the window open, I will talk to him.




Scene 2:

Time: About 2:30 PM, the same day.
Place: The subway station next to college.

Going back home, it was very hot and the humidity really high. It's the rush hour, everyone is pushing to get to the clerk to buy a ticket. I was standing in the line squeezed among others, men and women. When it is this hot and crowded, people tend to forget the lines they are supposed to stand in. There is some problem with the machine rolling the tickets, the clerk is standing behind the glass looking confused and trying to fix the problem. The crowd is growing bigger and bigger, everyone is complaining about it. Finally, the machine worked, the clerk still standing started giving us the tickets. I was standing at the front row, he looked up at me, "something they rarely do, neither do we. Our relationship with the clerks is bound to looking at that small gap in the glass wall, where you can put your hand in with the money and get your ticket. Normally, both of you are looking down, never making eye contact or even talking most of the time... I don't know how many times I thought about this issue after I left with my ticket. The fact that someone would sit behind a glass wall to merely look at people's hands, what he might be thinking when he sees every single one. I always remembered Charles Dickens then, how he used to work for a shoemaker in an underground room with only a small window that showed him people's feet and shoes. He learned to differentiate between people and understand them from the way their shoes looked.". So the clerk looked up at me this time and he gave me a smile, very similar to the one the old artist gave me in the same morning. I froze for a moment, didn't know how to respond exactly, then I found myself with a big grin on my face. The rest of the people standing pushed me away from the glass but I didn't care. I went home feeling much lighter.

Facts!!

Life : A condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects. "Wikipedia".

A lie : Is a type of deception in the form of an untruthful statement with the intention to deceive, often with the further intention to maintain a secret or reputation, or to avoid punishment. "Wikipedia"

Betrayal : As a form of deception or dismissal of prior presumptions, is the breaking or violation of a presumptive social contract (trust or confidence)that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals, between organizations or between individuals and organizations. "Wikipedia"

Mistake : A wrong action attributable to bad judgment or ignorance or inattention. "dict.die.net"

Believe : To exercise belief in; to credit upon the authority or testimony of another; to be persuaded of the truth of, upon evidence furnished by reason, argument, and deductions of the mind, or by circumstances other than personal knowledge; to regard or accept as true; to place confidence in; to consider; as, to believe a person, a statement, or a doctrine. "ARD"

Summary : Life is a lie, betrayal is the general rule, but still, it's not life's mistake, it's our mistake because we believe in it!!!

Julia!!

Today, I am not talking about myself "lucky you", I am here to share something I found recently.

Her name is Julia, and she is an artist. I stumbled upon her work during one of my Flickr frenzy attacks, and since then, I became addicted to all things Julia... She mainly does Illustration and collage, wonderful painting, and amazing Polaroid photography. I bow in respect to her, for she is truly what I believe to be a free soul, an artist.

Unfortunately, I can't get you some samples of her work here, it is all protected under copy rights but here you can find her website, a very enjoyable experience, make sure not to miss it. Or, you can visit her account on Flickr here!

Soor Alazbakiya!

On the request of the currently disappearing Little Penguin, those are some pictures from my trip to Soor Alazbakiya, the used books street:

The market next to the book stores, very crowded.





As you can see, not very crowded, the popularity of reading in Egypt is highly receding, a very worrying sign.

Afterwards, I went to "Madbouli book store", a very famous one in Egypt and Arab countries as well, where I got some very good Arabic books, everything I was looking for actually.

A list of the books purchased along with my cousin:
*The undomestic goddess "Sophie Kinsella".
* Ignorance "Milan Kundera".
*Taxi "Khalid Alkhamisi".
*Sushi for Beginners "Marian Keyes".
*The other side of the story "Marian Keyes".
*The brothers Karamazov "Feodor Dostoevsky".
*Life of Pi "Yann Martel".
*Five quarters of the orange "Joanne Harris".
*Bridget Jones's diary "Helen Fielding".
*Are you inoculated against the Harem?! "Fatema Mernissi".
*The Pigeon "Patrick Suskind".
*Testaments betrayed "Milan Kundera".
*On turning Eighty "Henry Miller".
*Nightmares of Beirut "Ghada Alsamman" .

VICTORYYYYYY!!!!!

WE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha khoti ha! E7na elassasna elmal3ab we7na elnel3ab bei!!!

The Landlord!

I want my moneeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!!!

Random Gloryness!!

Again, I went to our summer house for a couple of nights last week, it was okay, nothing special, some how boring except for how we got there and how we came back...

Usually, I go with my family in our air conditioned comfortable car... This time, only I and my cousin were going, some members of the family were already there waiting for us...

So we took a bus to get there, air conditioned but the weather was okay at night, it was around 7 when we took off, we ended up stuck in a 4 and a half hour trip instead of just 2 because the driver decided to pick some more passengers from another city not on our way!! During the torturing looooong hours we had to watch some horrible movies for that retard named Mohamed Saad, I nearly threw myself out of the window when I saw his name appearing on the screen but Some people restrained me!!

And here I would like to take the chance to thank god for giving me an mp3 player that is fully working and contains some decent things to listen too!!!

So we finally got to the city near our place, still got about 7 km to get to the house... Normally, take a taxi or whatever, but thanks to our incredible luck and the late timing, we ended up in a truck!!!! That's a first for me! scary first since he was driving like a maniac and scared the feckin day light out of us!!

Finally, home, had the first meal in 11 hours and went to sleep.

Days there are calm, just doze around and read, that's all there is to do... Maybe a walk on the beach at sun set and enough!

The way back was not less horrible, standing in the sun waiting for a lift to get to the same city so we can catch the bus, and again a truck!! We got into the bus, incredibly hot and some lousy air conditioning system, humidity is up in the sky , simply awful!!

Thank God, this time it was a direct ride about 2 and a half hours, sitting behind some teenage guys who were just back from a concert "party" for Haifaa Wahbi, of course you can imagine the kind of conversation that was going on, a fresh reminder of why I am off any human being with five extensions right now!! "no offense" actually girls are not better, so I am off the entire species!!

It was over and I was back home to my lovely room and precious belongings in a short while, dead tired and not as refreshed as I thought I would be... Too bad!

Here are some pictures from the holy trip to the sacred beach house:



I was waiting for my cousin to arrive at the main bus station, this is the cafeteria.


The view from my window, we are on top of a hill.


The beach, that's my cousin standing in the picture... Those rocks are really slippery!!






Another thing, today, while drinking my tea and watching tv, I came across this new some kind of reality show, it's called "Laguna Beach".... My only comment.... Thank you Lord!!


One last thing:

And there was a time when all I wanted was my
Ice cream colder, and a little cream soda
Oh Well, Oh Well

And a wooden box, and an alley full of rocks
was all i had to care about
Oh Well, Oh Well, Oh Well


But now my mind is filled with rubber tires
and forest fires
an whether I'm a liar
and lots of other situations where I don't know
what to do at which time god screams to me
“there's nothing left for me to tell you”

Oh Well, Oh Well, Oh Well

Little Cream Soda- The White Stripes.

No Title!

I bought a new mug, I watched it all fall in front of my eyes, I had a minor break down, I wanted to die, worthless is my word!

Kyle!

Updates!

Another day at work.... I am awfully tired, didn't get much sleep last night, or today actually.... went to bed at 5:30 AM, stayed up reading till 6:30, slept for 3 hours and woke up at 9:30, got dressed then went to work........

So far, my job is quite interesting, I got to do a looooooot of things, including loads of paper work which reminds me why I simply love my pc........ I did some nice work, they are all pretty satisfied now, hope it lasts till I am done!!

It's a completely different summer this year, instead of staying in bed all day, watching tv or sitting to the laptop all night, I am on a very tight schedule, trying to do anything for fun but so far I haven't been very lucky!!!

I got to go to the computer malls, was looking for a new HDD, I was totally out of space, I found some portables but they are pretty expensive for my budget so I got a normal 120GB internal laptop HDD and a cover, now I have a nice free 120GB connected through USB for USD85!

It's an amazing feeling to look at the status bar and see all this white space waiting to be filled!

As a treat, I got a copy of Vista, installed it and I am now using it.... Of course I had some stupid time retrieving my bookmarks and offline contents etc. because I wanted to put a clean copy, no upgrading..... It's worth it after all!

I got the new Harry Potter too... Everyone who dares to say it's for kids is looking for a fight with me, this is no child's book or at least not only for children! Didn't read much of it yet, only about 115 pages, I am reading another book with it and again, it's the lack of time!

Emotionally, it's all shit right now, I am confused and I can't comprehend a lot of the stuff going around me.... It's like a death trap, whenever I think I am done, I survived, I am sucked back into troubles!!! I want to scream MERCYYYYYYYYYYYY some times..... But as everything else, it will calm down again in a while, and it will get even worse for the millionth time.... What can we say, it's life, and I am living it to the bone!

I don't know when I'll be able to write again, will try to go out soon and write about it but till then, I have to go do some work "I am on my coffee break" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jasim Show!

This is the definition of killer funny!!!


P.S only Iraqis will understand this!

Icky Thump

The white stripes are baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!


Boy, I just love him!!! And I hope I would look like her when I am 32!

The Shins, New Slang!

Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.
Only, i don't know how they got out, dear.
Turn me back into the pet that i was when we met.
I was happier then with no mind-set.


And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
And i'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.


New slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.
Hope it's right when you die, old and bony.
Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,Never should have called
But my head's to the wall and i'm lonely.


And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
And i'd a danced like the kind of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.


God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs,
And bleed into their buns 'till they melt away.


I'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?
And if you'd 'a took to me like
Well i'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

A new job!

Not much going on the last few days, the exams are still there, they were okay, not my usual perfect but okay.... I have an oral exam in about 8 hours but I can't get myself out of bed to grab a book, I am bored and tired.

Things are calm in here, specially in my head... The usual rage and anger and complicated passionate feelings are withdrawing.... It feels like my head was inside a giant mixer with a thousand hand pushing the "ON" button, but one by one, they turned off the mixer to leave me at the bottom of it, still got some headache from the spinning but other than that, the silence is incredibly comforting... I need this time out to retain my "sanity", get back on track and hopefully gain back the weight I lost... I can say that I am happy, remembering things from the last year is not as painful as it was in the previous couple of months... I am glad I managed to cope with the changes around me, the changes in my head....



On another matter, my vacation should start by the 22nd of this month, I pretty much can't wait because this has been one hell of a school year... I will be a forth year med student, quite a change since I was that little cheerful energetic girl back at high school but it is expected, nothing stays the same, we are always changing...

A while ago I raised the subject with my parents, I will be working this summer, for a million reasons starting from not wanting to stay home sleeping all day and sitting on my laptop all night till I got some backache of a 90 year old man working in mining , to seeking a fraction of financial Independence...
So as I said, I talked to the old folks about it and my father immediately said that he wants me to work for him"he has an imp. & exp. company and another software, web designing one", I agreed because I know that he is in desperate need for an assistant and I happen to know most of what it takes, having worked for him before on part time bases.

I am not really comfortable with the situation, working for my father, specially when my younger brother will be training there too to prepare himself for entering the faculty of engineering and the whole business.

I still don't know how it is going to be, so I guess the only thing I have to do is to give it a try, a couple of weeks won't harm, to see how it will end up like... If it doesn't work out, good thing I already made it clear to them that I will leave and look for a job anywhere else for I won't accept wasting the whole summer doing something I am not satisfied with...

There is nothing else to do now, I'll just wait and see... But for now, I'd better get out of bed and go study for a while till I leave for the exam!

There are things and things..

There are things and things..
There are things that ruin your day just because they are here..
And things you want them to be far.. There..
Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!
Who am I?
I am who I am and I have my reasons, and I don't have a reason to be grateful to you or anyone else. All I want is to stay alone & safe and may the whole world go as one package straight to hell.
I am who others spat in my face a thousand time until that filthy, nice feeling started growing and piling in my tight chest..
There are things and things..
Now tell me..
Have you ever tried breaking the red light at a checkpoint without being (DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?) or some president of some country?
Have you ever tried stealing a cigarette from your sleeping father's pocket?
To spit in the cup of tea every time they serve it to you so that no one else could drink from it?
To taste your bleeding blood after a fist fight with someone older and bigger than you?
Have you ever dreamt of throwing the hot soup in the face of that cousin of yours who doesn't even know your name but telling you how sweet it would be if you got up and made him some tea?
Have you ever tried sticking your tongue out for a giant saw?
No?!
Here I am now, begging you. Leave it all to that part of you who have had it.
NOW.
YELL in the face of that officer at the checkpoint.
And your father.
And those you meet in that cafe near your house.
And the cousins you don't know : stop JUDGING me.
TAKE ME THE WAY I AM, NOT THE WAY YOU WANT ME TO BE.
There are stuff and stuff..
Here is your poor face saying that you will be the prey for things you don't know, I know you don't give a fuck but please don't worry.
I already did way worse.
Come closer sweetie.
Cloooooser.
Come closer without any real grantees or promises of any kind.
I won't protect you, won't love you, won't be around if you need me, and you'll know why you should be grateful for that.
You will learn how to feel the pain when I jump over that wall that surrounds all what you fear and hate.
For I won't jump to the outside.. I will jump to the inside, where thousands of things make you say :
I can't take this. I can't take that. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is being crazy?
It doesn't matter.
Who am I really?


You can worry now.
For together we will drink madness drop by drop.




"To be Abbas Al-Abd"

Interview with Taha.

A foreign Newspaper wants to publish a report about the life in Egypt, So they send a female reporter to interview the common citizen in egypt..when she arrives at Cairo, she picks a random guy and starts her interview:

• Reporter:Hi
• Egyptian:We 3alkom el salam ya 2otta "kitten"!
  
• Reporter:Do u speak English?
• Egyptian:Berfect.
• Reporter:Do u mind if i interview you?
• Egyptian:No, I dont have a mind.
• Reporter:What's your name?
• Egyptian:Taha.
• Reporter:Sex?
• Taha: I love it.
• Reporter: Oh no, I meant male or female?
• Taha (yelling): what do u sink?
• Reporter:It's just for the sake of the report..never mind...male....
• Taha:yas male... And i can brove it any time u want.
• Reporter:No,thanks,I'll take u for ur word...so..how do u find life here in egypt?
• Taha:Egybt..very nice cantry..nice wezar..nice food ..byramidz.
• Reporter:Oh well..beside the weather and the pyramids..what else do u like in ur country?
• Taha: Byramids,nice wezar,nice food
• Reporter:Ok..lets move on..what do u do?
• Taha: I am very well ,sank u
• Reporter:No,I mean do u have a job?
• Taha(looking around him and whispering):Jobat?..no i dont have any (jobat)..lessa mastaba7nash..do u have (job) with u?..we can esmoke it in my car..dont warry about bolice *A job is as you might conclude is hash!
  
• Reprter:Oh my god,DO YOU WORK?
• Taha:Yas yas..Taxi drivar.
• Reporter:What do u think about the traffic problem in Egypt?

• Taha:Very big broblem..very much cars..u see?..but za guvurment is trying to make it bettar..zey did the circle street and za me7war street..and zey make all streets one way so if u go..u cant come back..niahahaha3
• 
  
• Reporter:What about the economic problems in Egypt?
• Taha:I do not undurstand what u say!
• Reporter:I mean..how do u deal with money problems in egypt?
• Taha: No NO NO..egybt very rich cantry...we have alot of cotton..alot of water..and we have byramidz
• Reporter: So do u make a lot of money?
• Taha:No no.. it is not legal to make money..one frend i know make money at home..and he go to brizon..if u make money at home..u can only give it to za banzeena "gas station" man..they take any money"true"
• Reporter: let me rephrase..since Egypt is a rich country.. do you have a lot of money?
• Taha:me?! ..Not alot..but I eat and drink Al7amdulelah "thank God"!
  
• Reporter:Then where does all the money go?
• Taha: Guvurment.
• Reporter:And what does the government do with the money?
• Taha:Zey Build circle street,me7war street and make all streets one way!
• Reporter:well , Ok...Do u vote?
• Taha:What duz zat mean?
• Reporter:Do u choose your president
• Taha:Mubarak?
• Reporter:yes!!
• Taha(nervously): I didnt give my voice..but if I was.. I will give him my voice.
• Reporter:Why him?
• Taha:Because he was an airoplane in za war..he waz za leadar airoplane.
• Reporter:But there are no wars right now
• Taha:But if we have war..u see?...we know we will have a very good airoplane in it.
• Reporter:what about the last 26 years ?
• Taha:I got marry..and have 3ala2 and Amira..and drive taxi!
• Reporter:No, I meant what did Mubarak do for Egypt in the last 26 years?
• Taha:He build circle street,me7war street and make all streets one way!!!!
• Reporter:Thank you very much for your time Mr. Taha.
• Taha:No broblem,only 10 bounds.
• Reporter:I never said I will pay u for this
• Taha: Ok..just give me the (job) then..we smoke ,and make head "get high"!
  
• Reporter:Grrrrrrrr
• Taha:ok ok..need aTaxi?

Unfortunatly true, specially the English part though Egyptians are smarter than that!!! They know they are being robbed every day but they simply stopped doing anything about it!!

random!

A very random post,

I went out yesterday with my cousin after my oral exam... It was the greatest fun I had in a reeeeeeally long time, I love going out with her, it is so much fun probably because we are both crazy and simply don't care :P and we were shopping so that simply doubled the fun :D


another subject,

"In the beginning, we were all fish, okay?! swimming around in the water... And one day, a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby fish was different so he got to live... So the retard fish goes on to make some more retard babies... And one day, the retard baby crawled out of the water with its mutant fish hands and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something... and it made this retard frog-squirrel... And then this had a retard baby which was a monkey-fish-frog... And then this monkey-fish-frog had butt sex with this monkey and had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey and that made YOU........ So there you go, you are the offspring of 5 monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel, congratulations!!
"Mr, or Mrs by that time, Garrison's opinion on evolution theory"



One last thing, I saw this today, very good art, very good direction, though I have a thing for materialization of woman's beauty in a picture of her face or figure but I have to admit I liked it!
:)

Red!

Dody's first painting, she did it last night!

BUSTED!!

WOOOOHOOOOO, I THINK I SOLVED THE MYSTERY!!

I just came across this picture on IraqSlogger.com, and the comment goes like this:

BAGHDAD, IRAQ - MAY 24: An Iraqi boy climbs boards a boat to cross the Tigris River on May 24, 2007 in Baghdad, Iraq. A number of Iraqis have turned to use boats to cross the banks of the Tigris River after the bombing of at least four bridges in Baghdad.



Remember how we all after this series of bombing bridges and building walls, we all started throwing accusations of them being sectarian acts by some one with interest in separating Baghdad into Sunni and Shiite areas restricted for each other!! I remember I myself started making fun of how stupid I think it is, how obvious the way things are going.... And of course as Arabs we all invented the usual conspiracy theory involving Israel and the Mossad etc. etc., you know, the way we always do....

Now watching these pictures were like a shock to me, I suddenly realised that we were all wrong!!

The thing happening behind the scenes which I am about to revile now is going to be a surprise to all of you, so please hold on tight to your seats, sit down if you are reading while you are standing, prepare for the shock:


IT'S THE BOAT DRIVERS"or whatever you want to call them"!!

picture this with me, a group of those boat owners gather in a meeting to search their current situation.... The business is really bad these days, you know people are more worried about their asses than taking a trip in the Tigris, beside, they'd rather spend their money on buying fuel than taking a boat with their chicks!!

What is the solution?! what can we do?! we can't earn our living like this specially when we can't go fishing because you know how it is with 30 years of throwing deadly chemicals and wastes into the river, by now all the fish are probably looking like TMNT "teenage mutant ninja turtles" so fishing them is not an option!

P.S from the writer ..... I know it sounds dump, a fisherman knowing about TMNT but bare with me here, you got the point, that's the important thing!!


Now back to our fishermen, a long silent pause domains until a voice comes from among them..... I have an idea!!!

*What idea? tell us please!!
*It's kindda cranky, I am not sure if you would agree to it...
*just tell us anything, we are desperate here, can't you see?! We would go for anything, just talk!
*......... Blow up the bridges.
*huh?!
*You heard me, lets blow up the bridges, people won't find a way to cross the river and they will have to come back to us!! We would be the only way for them to get to their jobs and houses...
Everyone will be crawling to get in the line for a ride!!
*mmmm.....!
*C'mon, think about it. It's a really good idea, no one will ever suspect the poor guys who spent their lives sailing in the river!!
*..........
*..........
*..........
*..........
*It sounds like a good idea to me!
*yeah, me too!
*But guys....
* Oh shut up, no buts, we need to feed the family " said in a dangerous mob way", and I will do anything to prove my loyalty to the family.
*...........
*So are you with us or not?!
*........... I am sorry, but this is against my morals, I can't help but think of all the people who would get killed in such a massacre!
*Okay soft boy, I am afraid we can't leave any witnesses behind.... KILL HIM!!!

"sound of a fight and someone getting slayed eventually"



I will leave the rest for your imagination, I think you know how it must have gone, just some explosives, easy to attach them to the bases of the bridges using their boats, no one will suspect why they were roaming around the area, after all, it's their job!!

Now, I bet if you get some of those CSI people with their weird devices, they will find traces of saliva, sorry chemical stuff used for making home made explosives on their hands, urine and hair maybe even disect one of them and search for it in his lungs!!

you can find some more pictures that support my accusations here!
Notice the devilish looks in their eyes, you know what they say, once a murderer, forever a murderer.

I guess they underestimated how genius I am or just never thought I'd see those pictures!!








P.S I was simply joking above but I am happy that at least one party got benefit from these massacres!

I wish I could have one more time to tell you how much I miss you!

Stethoscopes heaven!

That is my little beauty, my cousin dody, she is 2, and the only person who can make me smile when everything feels like shit!

She was very sick for the past couple of days, fever and so, we had to give her 3 shots of antibiotic :( but she is not much better.

Anyway, she always loves to play with my stethoscope" I am a med student", so to cheer her up, we bought her this set of doctor toys, I am sure you all know them...... She was really happy with them, though you can still see how sick she looks in the pic.


That's another picture of her when she is feeling better!

I love ME!!

More than 32 people have been killed and 90 others wounded in two separate explosions in Baghdad while eight more US soldiers have been reported killed.

Police said at least 10 people were killed and 35 wounded on Tuesday when a car bomb exploded in a busy market in the southwest of the Iraqi capital.

Police sources said the bomb targeted civilians in the mainly Shiite district of Amil.

Earlier in the day, at least 22 people were killed and 55 wounded when a parked minibus exploded in central Baghdad.

The bomb went off in a busy commercial area where many day labourers, mostly Shiite, often wait for work.

Meanwhile, Al Mahdi Army was accused of setting a Sunni mosque and 50 houses on fire.


Hallelujah, thumbs up everyone, you gave us one nice bloody day!!
Is it just me or does it really keep getting better and better??!!!


P.S won't even talk about the the 3 lecturers who were abducted with their English bodyguards, that was a nice one!






Okay, to keep things updated, this month "May" was considered the worst month for American troops in 2 years, a sum of 122 soldiers were announced dead!

On the other hand, for Iraqis, we have 2000 dead, of course you can add another 2000 to get the real picture as more than half of the injured usually die out of incredibly lousy medical care and they are not counted!

YOU FAILED!!

Are we self-destructive creatures?! Is it true that we prefer to sink deep in our fear, hatred, lust and agony?!


I was once accused that I think of all the bad things that could possibly happen, even invent some just to justify the bad feelings I have, to explain to myself why I am miserable!


Mostly true, I know I always think of the worst, maybe because I saw and lived some of the worst of life so when I am happy, I try to always remind myself that the best is NOT yet to come, it is most of the time the WORST is yet to come.... This way I won't get too disappointed when everything turns into a mess..... Pessimistic, I know, but give me one reason that would make me not one!



Sometimes you feel like you just hit the bottom, went down a steep slide without even noticing to find yourself down on the ground, alone with cruel eyes looking at you from above and pointing with their fingers and laughing,"look at that stupid idiot, he didn't notice we were going to push him soon".

You look up and you can't believe that someone you trusted could do this to you, you remember the words of the wise men who told you eldonya mafeehash aman "there is no safety in this world"... you remember that you were once in a situation advising someone else not to trust a human being, even yourself because people change and everyone is looking for their own profit"what's in it for meeeeee??!!"


You are down there covered with your shame and misery thinking how stupid you were and how if you got to get out of this, you will never put yourself under the mercy of anyone!


Now the more stupid thing is that you find one of those who pushed you reaching out for you.... half heartidly, but at least reaching.....
You think for a while.... should I go for it?! I mean how am I to know it is not a trick?! But again, the stupid self centered you ignores all rational thoughts and reaches out for the hand, try to grab it, it's not that easy, you need some more effort.....

gather some of the people who were down there with you, who were thrown by the same people who threw you or by someone else, doesn't really matter.... pile them on top of each other and use them as your "stairway to heaven".... What do you say?! They are your friends??! So what??! Can't you remember a word of what I said?! "What's in it for meeeee??????!!!! me and only me", focus on getting up there dummy!!

So you finally got hold of the hand, it is slippy and not very willing to help you, but in what position are you to start complaining now??!

You are there now after a lot of struggle but you made it, congratulations,
YOU FAILED YOUR FIRST TEST!!


Now see that smile on your saviours face, look harder,memorize it, engrave it in your brain cells, what do you see in it??! Just think and tell me later. Enjoy the warm welcome and the hugs, try to get hold of as much love as you can!


.....................................................................................................................................................................
.......................................................................................................................................................!!



Ummmm, he is handing you a shovel?! you are scared??! why are you saying so?! remember, he is our saviour, he could have left us there to rot, but he didn't..... Stop being ungrateful, stop whining, just take the damned shovel and do what he is asking you....

He asked you to dig a grave?!! ummm, it's okay, maybe he got something to bury... a pet or a box or even a time capsule..... keep digging, it's just a hole in the ground, he is your saviour, you have to pay your debt, help him to whatever he wants without wondering or asking.

He is not convinced with how deep it got?! He wants it deeper??! Well, what is the difference, a hole is a hole, doesn't matter how deep it is, dig deeper!!!

He is asking you to go down there??!! .........That's weird............. But hey, there has to be a reasonable explanation for it.... Oh oh, he must want to hand you whatever he wants to bury while you are in there, it must be heavy!!


See, you are down there now and nothing bad happened... You have a HUGE trust issue, you should really have some more faith in the human nature!

................................................................................................................................................................... ...........................................................................................................................................................!!

WHAT??! what is this dirt falling over our face?! What's happening?! Why is it getting darker?! Why are we this cold?!!

OH SHUT IT YOU DUMB ASS!! IT'S MY TURN TO TALK!!! I WAS FOLLOWING THE DECISIONS YOU MADE FOR ME ALL ALONG THE ROAD!! IT WAS ALL SUPPOSED TO BE ALRIGHT, WHAT HAPPENED NOW?! WE GOT DUMPED IN A COLD LONELY PLACE YOU JACK ASS MOTHER FUCKER!! I SHOULDN'T HAVE LISTENED TO YOU FIRST PLACE YOU STUPID PIG!!

So the other part of you says with its last breaths,"at least we got to see him smile for us once!"

choose!

Sitting on my desk studying, I got this phone call from a friend, nothing serious, just the normal chit -chat, I had a pencil in my hand and some paper in front of me, I started painting this meaningless drawing... I am done with the phone, I found that I have a nice outline, maybe I should finish it..... My mother comes in a while to find me working on it, she asks,"what is that?!"
I said I don't know, it's nothing I guess, so she says your nothing looks good, finish it..... So you find me working on it for a while till I realized that I need to go on studying, I leave it and decide to get back to it later......

Later that night, my parents came out from outside, we sat to have dinner"actually I had dinner alone since they already ate", anyway, I finished dinner and thought I can finish my drawing.Went to my room, got the pencil and the paper and started again...

Now this is not why I am writing now... you see, we got into this discussion about educational system in Egypt!!

I have been to many schools, about 5 plus college, they were all dramatically different in so many ways but the comparison we made was between specific two, the last two actually. I spent 3 years in the first one and 4 in the other...

Now, the first one was very much concerned with external activities and I mean by that sports and art work mainly, it had a large library and play grounds and so on... I can say that I spent the most full years of my life there, I can't remember how many art exhibitions I had, the poetry competitions, the sports tournaments etc.

I was an active child, I have to admit, not every one was like that but my point here is that I actually had the space to be one, I had teachers to guide me and I want to acknowledge that I had one hell of a librarian "Ms Shadia", she was in charge of most of the art activities but she was more of my friend who taught me a lot of things....

So far all seems great, so what is the problem?! The educational level!!
I had a range of 96-97% when it came to my total marks! This was not acceptable for my parents, they wanted THE BEST!

I was going to hi-school by then, and hi-school determines what college you end up in and consequently what future you have!! I was set to be a doctor since I can remember, this meant I had to raise my marks to be able to get to the exact college, actually the exact university they wanted!

To sum all, I was moved to another school...

This one had the perfect record of marks and college applicators, superb teachers and most of all, not anyone can get in there, only the top of the top!!

I got in , and it was almost the complete opposite of the first school, very concerned with stuffing information in your head, very ignorant to the artistic creative part of the child's mind!!

4 years I spent there, always studying, always the top of my class, full marks and very well known among all teachers for being the perfect student "there is no bragging here :P, just stating facts".

4 years I barely had any activity other than studying, barely playing any sports or drawing inside my school.... I had to keep all my activities for the summer, and that means almost not reading a couple of books in 9 months!

I qualified for the college I wanted, I am studying there now!



Now the discussion was: is it acceptable that a child is mind set on a particular aspect of his educational life and neglecting all the others??! Do we put our children in a school that we entrust to develop their minds to find that after 11 years of education, I got a copying machine?!
Does qualifying for a decent college mean that a person has a healthy well developed mind??!
If you got to choose between having one of the previously mentioned schools, what would your choice be??!

In Egypt, most of the parents will go for school number 2, a lot of reasons, I am considerate for some of them, I know it is a tough life we are living, if you don't get to be a doctor or an engineer, you won't get a job "as if doctors an engineers do find jobs that easily", there is nothing like a proud parent watching his kid graduate from a nice college and so on!

But are we really willing to let something like that be inflicted on the brain functions of our children?! A kid is a kid, do you want to deprive him from the sweet and innocent joys of life because you are worried about his graduation??!

I say let'em play, let'em live, don't spoil them or leave them without good education but please stop creating generations of copying machines!! We already have loads of young people who were raised this way and end up depressed because they don't have the creative touch in their lives!

I don't say let us all be Mozart or Chopin, but at least let this child when he grows up be able to look back at his childhood days at school and say I had fun while I was learning, not look back and all he would be able to remember is some frowning faces and piles of books stuffed with information no one cares about!

A friend of mine told me that I should ask if anyone sees other options, so I am open to any comments!